Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Back to School Blues (and Grey)

I am happy to be back at school where I am able to establish a routine-- go to class, do homework, spend time with friends. But there is something about being back that is stifiling. During the summer there is ample time to reflect on life. In a lack of routine there is opportunity to try new things and discover new passions and to get to know new people.
At school, there is the same opportunity to meet people, it is just that between the stress of your Orgo homework and their English paper people are less into spending the time it takes to get to know one another. This leads to something that I have labeled "starved-soul syndrom" which occurs when too many things are accomplished in a small time period that is devoid of fun. (Fun we will define as anything that one chooses to do completely of their own desire.) The most detrimental symptom of starved-soul syndrom is of course severe procrastination which only leads to less time for fun activities and thus a more severe case of starved-soul.
If only there was a way to manage time such that there was always enough of it left over to be unmanaged. Sometimes I feel so exhausted by my efforts to organize the time I do have that I throw my newly organized day out the window (sometimes it is less out the window and more into a collapsing building). It seems that I struggle with the idea that sometimes life is less than easy or fun all the time. Maybe wanting the world to be always filled with fun and never responsibility or obligation is childish and immature, idealic and naive... but I don't think so.